I don’t feel good enough. Never. In anything.
Muito obrigada, significa muito ;) eu tenho umas recaídas mas estou seguindo em frente sim.
People judge me when I say I feel fat.
I wanna lose weight but I also want a milkshake.
Is it true what they say, that if a person starts lying, they will never be able to stop? No matter how tiny and simple the lie is, they can never admit the truth behind it? Is it that much easier to fake a reality than to face the facts, even if they look much bigger and scarier? I’ve lied a few times in my life and I’m not proud of it. I lied because I was scared. I was ashamed of the truth. I wanted the easy way out. And I swear sometimes I still can’t sleep at night because of this. How can someone who often does this live with themselves? How can they look at the mirror?
I’m sick of human beings.
Sometimes I feel like I’ll never be happy. I can smile. I can have a happy day, or a week, maybe a month. But I feel like I’m always being pulled to the bottom of this dark, neverending sea. Am I drowning? Am I slowly dying, will I soon stop to breathe? I’m sick of getting tired of those who I love, I’m sick of finding happiness and fulfillness somewhere and then realizing I need so much more. I need so much more… I’m a horrible person, I know that, I’m always hurting everybody around me and I swear to God I don’t do that on purpose. I can’t fit in. ANYWHERE. I feel like I don’t belong anywhere. I know I am slowly drowning yet another person with me, I know it is only a matter of time until he gets sick of all my shit. Everybody does. I don’t know what to do anymore. I can’t and I don’t want to trust anyone. The few people I can trust and count on are slowly being pushed away from me. And it hurts like hell to know that this is entirely my fault. I can take you from Heaven to Hell in one single day. I seriously think I need some medication, but I can’t make myself to search for a doctor. We are all mad in here… aren’t we?
This is the most rude thing you could ever say to me.
I don’t deform my body. At all. My piercings and my tattoo are just a tiny bit of what I consider to be art, not deformity. Nobody has the right to judge this. You don’t have the right to point your fucking finger to my face and tell me I’m ‘deformed’. I have only one of all the tattoos I wanna get, and to me this is beauty, this is art. If I have self-esteem issues, this is another story, but surely doesn’t give you the right to judge and think you know the reasons. No, I don’t feel beautiful all the time, I don’t think I’m the best, I don’t think I’m pretty, I’m tired of wishing I was this or that. And then on top of everything I have to hear from an asshole that I don’t feel pretty because I deform my body…
Faith in humanity, lost. Again.
I know happiness will come when I learn to feel pretty.
